Recently, many people have been placed under the label of “performative male,” but what does this phrase actually mean? The term began in late 2024-2025 when many men were mocked for appearing soft or sensitive for attention. These actions inspired satire “performative male contests” which became a trend on TikTok. Plenty of guys did this in order to seem stylish, or aesthetically pleasing for “the female gaze.”
However, you cannot just call yourself a performative male. Being one consists of many qualities. These qualities often include listening to niche music (such as Clairo or Malcolm Todd), supporting feminism, reading thoughtful literature, being emotionally intelligent, or even just being capable of enjoying a nice matcha. Many carry around a tote bag or labubu to appeal more to the trends.
Recently I interviewed Alexis Rodas-Mendoza, an alumnus of PGHS, to learn what a day in the life of a performative male looks like. Alexis explains, “I get up, do my morning stretches, and make an iced oat milk latte with honey. While I ground myself in the back yard, I listen to Tame Impala, Laufey, The Smiths, and Neil Diamond. I then leave the house to go on a side quest to the most niche locations of San Diego, all while blasting Jonny by Faye Webster and reading feminist literature with a wonderful drink to pair.”
The performative male lifestyle is one of specialty and underground interest. This trend that started on TikTok has allowed plenty to be able to express themselves by embracing their creativity, sensitive spots, and also just follow the trends. Overall, a “performative male” is someone with exclusive interests who is also emotionally available and supportive.
